


Every Other Freckle

by napenthusiast



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Emotionally Repressed, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Galaxy Garrison, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Memories, POV Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Sad and Sweet, Secret Relationship, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), That describes this whole fic, i love that thats a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/napenthusiast/pseuds/napenthusiast
Summary: People are not supposed to break the things they love, but sometimes accidents happen, and you have to do your best to put things back together.They usually will never look the same, pieces of shattered glass can go missing, and cracks cannot be sealed completely, but sometimes putting broken things back together make them even more special, because they were worth fixing.If you break something you truly love, you will find a way to put it back together.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	Every Other Freckle

Keith was terrified.

He was scared of how happy the Cuban boy with freckles on the ridge of his nose made him. The tiny pigmented dots are so small you wouldn't notice them unless you had the privilege to kiss him, which was a concession Keith would never take for granted.

Every other freckle was larger than its predecessor, the pattern of little dots branded into Keith's mind from lazy mornings in bed when he watched Lance's eyes flutter open in the morning light. 

Keith was scared of the way his heart stuttered when he watched the tanned boys smile shoot upwards into a laugh, his canines exceptionally pointy, the same ones that caused his lips to bleed and left marks on Keith's neck when the boys' pearly whites came into contact with his marble skin. 

Keith was scared of how in love he was with Lance.

Keith loved Lance. That is the lie he tries to tell himself, but the truth is that Keith loves Lance, and he has a sickening feeling that he always will.

~~~

The first time Keith saw Lance was at the Garrison.

In the beginning, Keith didn't register the loud boy that asked too many questions as a person, he just found the excessive noise a nuisance. But as time went on, he realized the statements and questions held meaning to them.

The boy was asking the questions everyone wanted the answers to. The ones that every student had, but was too scared to ask.

The tan boy with creamy brown hair was never too scared to ask questions.

As the grueling school year droned on, Keith began to migrate his position in the lecture hall towards the area where the loudmouth question asker sat with his friend. It was slow work, social interaction was never a strong suit for Keith, but eventually, he was sitting close enough to the boy to learn his and his acquaintances' last names, McClain, and Garrett.

The first time he heard the boy's name he was pleasantly surprised. McClain rolled off his tongue easily, and he mouthed the name to himself a few times before clenching his jaw, berated himself for being a stalker, and resumed listening to Iverson's lecture on how to enter coordinates for the simulator.

The teachers always sighed and gave McClain sour looks when his hand rose into the air like he was obviously not listening to anything they said (even though no one knew what was going on half the time, and Lance was actually quite smart if the way he worded his questions were anything to go by) before answering his question and teaching the entire class something essential they probably would have missed. Keith always listened intently to each question the boy asked, astonished at how similar the ones he had formulated in his own mind were to the ones that Lance vocalized.

~~~

  


At the Garrison, they could never see each other outside of class. 

Keith blamed it on their unsynchronized schedules and Lance's odd work hours, but he knew that wasn't the real reason. 

The truth was that they avoided each other at the Garrison. They couldn't be seen together because no one would understand why the reckless prodigy and hardworking cargo pilot would be friends.

The kind-hearted blue-eyed boy that smiled at everyone couldn't be seen with Keith and not be interrogated. He was a cargo-pilot, content with his lackluster spot at the Garrison, because the world had beat it into him that he would never amount to anything, even though he asked all the right questions and always had the answers. Nevertheless, he still helped others with their work, even when he was bone tired and couldn't put together a proper sentence, he always helped someone if they asked.

That's why he couldn't be seen with the hothead recluse that ducked his head and escaped from the classroom as soon as possible. 

Because Lance was so so so  _ good,  _ and Keith didn't ever want to change that.

  
  


~~~

  
  


The first time Keith learned McClain's first name, they were at a fairground. 

Keith was manning the ferris wheel, sitting on a stool, and taking tickets from smitten pairs of teens. He hated it. The work environment was just a huge, loud area filled with flashing lights and crying kids, but he figured the terrible suffering would only last for a week, and Shiro would be happy he was getting out of the apartment rather than curled up in bed with tea and a book. 

It was a Friday night, the last day he was scheduled to work this godforsaken job. Thank whatever celestial beings were watching over him for that. The sheer amount of sticky melted ice cream he had to clean off of the seats because little kids got too excited and dropped their cones on the bottom of the basket they were in was appalling. 

\---

“Next,” Keith droned for the thousandth time that night. 

A group of kids from the Garrison that he vaguely recognized from classes were all eagerly lined up waiting to board the lackluster ride. Couples were pairing up and friends lunged towards each other in order for them to decipher who was going to be in a cart with who. 

While taking tickets and motioning couples toward their baskets, Keith noticed a lanky guy that was not jumping to the front of the line with the rest of his group. As the teens shuffled forward and the ferris wheel rotated slowly, the tall boy came into better view.

He knew that face, it was the boy that never learned to hold his tongue in class. The one who always had something to say, a question, a joke, a correction, the boy who was never afraid to speak his mind. 

Keith could tell the boy, McClain, as he knew him to be, was apprehensive about getting into a basket and sailing up on the clunking wheel. His tan hands were wringing together and becoming strikingly pale in contrast to the rest of his golden skin. 

As two more girls from the huge crowd of teens hopped on the ride, Keith realized that all the carts were full. 

“Sorry,” he said to the taller boy, “there's no more spots, you'll have to wait for the next rotation. But if you keep up that facial expression, I think you might be sick before you could even step on.”

At his statement, the brown-haired boy's pinched face swung toward Keith, “Am I really that obvious?” he asked sheepishly as if embarrassed of being caught. 

“Not really, I just see lots of people in line that don't really trust this thing,” Keith replied, motioning toward the wheel as it let out a worrying squeak.

At the terrible noise, McClain winced, “I don't think I'll be getting on that piece of slapped together scrap metal tonight, I rather like my bones intact, thank you very much.” 

Keith giggled, honest to God giggled, at his stupid humor. The boy gave him a beautiful quizzical smile, flashing pearly whites as if people didn't often laugh at his jokes.

McClain stuck out his hand, which was regaining some color after being let out of its death grip, “The name’s Lance. Nice to meet you, death trap operator.”

“I’m Keith.”

  
  


~~~

  
  


Keith knew he was in love, and that's what scared him, because love was a weakness. 

Keith had drilled it into the depths of his mind that soldiers are not allowed to be in love. Deep down he knew that soldiers can never compromise themselves because of someone they love. 

And ever since his dad died and he was left to fend for himself, Keith has, and always will be, a soldier through and through. 

“Keith? Earth to Keith?” Muttered his ‘friend’ James as he swung his arm in front of Keith's face, “Why are you so tired, we don't even have a test today, like you would even need to study anyways.”

He snapped his eyes back into focus, his thoughts being dragged away from a certain boy he couldn't get out of his head, “Sorry, sorry, you were talking about the new recruit that transferred in randomly? Is he any good?”

“Ok yes, I was talking about that but whatever, he's old news. What I really wanna know is who kept you up so late last night? You've gotta have girls flinging themselves at you, and that ‘I wanna bone someone’ look you've got going on right now isn't exactly subtle so... You gonna tell me?” James interrogated as he smirked and leaned deeply back into his chair like he was hoping for a juicy secret. 

“If you must know,” he answered as he pushed his food around his lunch tray, “I had a hot date with my motorbike last night, and I lost track of time so I fell asleep so I got home later than I was supposed to, that's why I'm tired.” 

“UGH, boring!” James exclaimed before squinting his eyes in suspicion, “but wait, that still doesn't explain the ‘I wanna bone someone’ face. You're totally evading my question. 

“Shut up James,” Keith said sourly as he got up to leave, lunch was almost over anyway. 

James just laughed as he walked away.

  
  


~~~

As time went on Keith realized he could never change Lance to be anything but the kind soul that he was. 

He knew he was a difficult piece of shit, a boy that avoided him in the halls and only let himself be held in the confines of the desert. 

But Lance wasn't bothered by Keith's antics, instead, he took them all in stride. 

And that made Keith love him even more.

But it also made him even more terrified, because this boy was the first one who had ever just Keith be himself, without trying to change him, or save him. 

Lance was too good to be tainted by the stain of misery that was Keith Kogane, but he couldn't help himself. He was a bad soldier, and he quietly let himself fall, thinking that if no one saw him, maybe it wasn't really happening.

But he couldn't hide the scars of love from himself, because every time he heard lances light laugh or saw his eyes light up, he couldn't ignore the knife in his heart twisting deeper and deeper, embedding Lance into his very soul. 

  
  


~~~

The first time the two boys actually spoke was because of Shiro.

Lance was staring at the upperclassman with wide eyes, too scared to approach the legendary spaceman, admiring his “awesomeness” as the boy himself so eloquently stated.

The previously unmentioned part was that Lance was observing the stoic man in the middle of the hallway, standing statue-still in a crowded crossway of teenagers with places to go.

Keith, unsurprisingly, had his headphones in because they helped him walk through the crowded halls. This led him to be looking down at his phone to change the song into something more upbeat, so Keith did not see the seemingly paralyzed boy as he turned the corner, immediately slamming into him with as much force as a kid walking to class could emit. Incidentally, it was enough to force both of the boys to fall over onto the floor, notes spilling out of Keiths' bag, and Lance's notebook to be thrown out of his hands like they were in a cliche 90's movie.

“Dios mio, what the fuck”

“I'm sorry. I didn't see you”, Keith said as he was shaking off the daze from the fall and began to look at the boy he crashed into. It was the boy from the fair, McClain.

Lance.

“Oh yeah, that's me.”

Shit, he said that out loud.

“Keith right? The death trap operator.” Lance asked as he dusted off his knees and scanned the floor for his notebook. Students were still streaming past the two boys, weaving around them like a rock in the rapids of a river.

“Oh,” Keith didn't expect the boy to remember him, “Um. Yes. I'm Keith, from the fair. We also share Iverson's class. But yes. I’m Keith. Keith Kogane.”

At this Lance's face flew up in recognition, “Keith Kogane? As in, best flight simulation scores Keith Kogane?”

“Erm. I guess? But I prefer just Keith.”

This lit up Lance's face even more, a tiny smile escaping his lips, teeth flashing as white as ever, “Alright then, Just Keith. Let's go to class, Iverson will have my ass if I get in late and ask too many questions.”

“Ok”, Keith said as he gathered up the stragglers of his notes, shoving them into his side bag with little eloquence.

It was this simple, crash-course meeting that brought the two together.

~~~

“Do you love me, Keith?”

Lance was never too scared to ask questions. But this Lance was not the one he saw every day in class, speaking his inquiries with gusto, hand flying upwards, long limb leisurely reaching into the sky.

No, this Lance was broken, face tear-stained, and still hopelessly beautiful, his freckles seemingly glinting in the moonlight as the two boys stood on the roof of the Garrison. 

This Lance asked his question in a whisper, a tiny breathy thing that Keith had to lean in close to hear. So close he could smell the nicotine on Lance's breath from the smoke he had earlier while waiting for him to show up.

Keith was scared to open his mouth because of what he knew would come out.

“Always.”

But Keith didn't let the word Lance needed to hear slip through his lips. He turned and walked away, his jaw set and his eyes brimming with cold tears.

And because Keith was in love, and because love makes you do stupid things, Keith looked over his shoulder for one last glance at the beautiful boy he was leaving behind. 

The sight made his already glossy eyes lose focus, the tears spilling out as he ran away from the wreckage he had caused.

Lance had been broken, standing in the cool air of Arizona's night sky. His body hadn't changed, he was still the beautiful Cuban boy that stole Keith's heart, but Keith could see in his crystal blue eyes that he had been broken. 

Keith saw a shattered version of Lance that night as he ran away from love, and he knew the damage was all his fault.

He almost regretted looking back. Almost.

~~~

The first time Keith realized he was in love with Lance was at a McDonalds.

There was one near the Garrison (and by near it was actually 35 miles of rocky desert roads away) and it was a weekend so the boys thought they might as well go out and eat something that was not cafeteria food. With the thought of a horribly unhealthy burger in his mind, Keith revved up the engine to his dilapidated old truck and secretly smiled at Lance's enthusiasm for having the aux cord while sitting shotgun.

\--

“Lance, I highly doubt you can eat that many french fries in one sitting”

“Oh yeah? Watch me mullet. I'm gonna eat alllll these fries and no one's here to stop me” 

Keith gave him a disapproving look, “you're gonna get sick and then whine about it to me the rest of the night.” 

Lance just pouted. “Ok fine, but we will not be wasting these fries, I already drowned them in ketchup. Keith,”  he said pointedly as she stuck a finger in the shorter boy's face, “we are now in this together.”

“Why was I dragged into this? You're the one who got to many fries.”

“Proximity.”

“Uh-huh, I see. Well, I can’t deprive you of that now can I?” Keith chided while his hand darted towards the fries to grab a fistful of the salty treat before unceremoniously shoving them in his mouth.

Lance just sat there with wide eyes shimmering before breaking out into a fit of laughter that Keith tried to shush because people were starting to stare.

After his laughing had subsided Lance looked up across the table to Keith, who unknowingly had ketchup on the tip of his nose from his earlier french fry extravaganza. “Oh my god, Keith I am so glad I met you.”

Keith's heart did a little pitter-patter in his chest. This boy that he had only met a few months earlier had let him into his life and become a piece of it.

Later that night Keith and Lance went out to the roof of the Garrison to stargaze, lying on their backs looking up only to turn their heads to catch a glimpse of the other.

When their eyes meet and indigo flashes bright against ocean blue, they snap their heads back to the heavens and don't say a thing.

Keith hadn't realized he was falling in love, but once he hit the ground at full speed, he felt like all the air had been knocked out of him from the impact, and that he may never be able to breathe normally again.

~~~

Shiro was gone and Keith felt helpless.

The man that he trusted with his whole heart had disappeared and been lost to space, the one thing Keith had always admired the most.

Keith thought it was funny the way that the things you loved could hurt you the most. 

Space was where Keith would go when his foster families were yelling and screaming, throwing bottles and punching walls. He would always tuck himself away and open a book about the galaxies and get lost in the swirls and dips of the stars.

Space was what got Keith through his first few high school years, getting taunted at and sneered at by cruel people who didn't like that he kissed boys and had his ears pierced, he put on his headphones and listened to lectures about wormholes and supernovas.

Space is what brought Shiro to him, a recruiter for the Garrison, meeting with students who he thought had real potential to be sent into the cosmos.

\---

“Your grades are phenomenal Keith and the scores of the specialty tests you took in astrophysics and cosmology are impressive, what are you planning on doing when you graduate?”

“Um. I'm not really sure. I don't really have any money so I'll probably get a job and save up for school one day,” Keith hated being pitied about being a poor foster kid, let alone by some big buff guy that was asking personal questions about his future, but he had a feeling this man would know if he was lying, so he told the truth.

“Have you ever heard of the Garrison?” the man replied, eyes unchanging as if Keith not having money did not make him think differently of him.

“The what?”

“I'll take that as a no. The Garrison is a school for people who want to go to space…”

And after that conversation, Keith sent in his applications, applying for financial aid, writing essays for every scholarship available, and keeping in contact with Shiro because damn it Keith loved space with every fiber of his being.

But space took away Shiro. Shiro, the only person who gave Keith an opportunity to be one step closer to his dreams of interstellar exploration, and then he was gone.

~~~

The first time Keith and Lance kissed they were on the edge of a cliff.

It was a cloudless night like many were in the Arizona desert, and Lance woke Keith up from a fitful slumber by throwing a rock at his dorm window.

“What the hell are you doing?” Keith hissed at said culprit as he stuck his head out of the window, “people could have heard that and you would have gotten in trouble.”

“Sorry Mr. Goody-Goody, I just really wanted to recreate a Taylor Swift song. It is pretty cold out here.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you mean by that. But what do you want?”

At this Lance threw his hands out in a flourish, mouth splitting into a large grin, “Come out here, it's a nice night. Let's explore!”

“There's practically nothing but desert for miles and miles.”

“Well maybe we'll find an interesting rock,” he deadpanned, “C'mon Keith, live a little.” His ocean blue eyes twinkled at his statement, a sly smirk appearing on his face as he looked Keith dead in the eyes.

And that was when Keith gave in. With a huff, he shoved on a pair of pants, grabbed his jacket, and slipped a leg out of his window.

“This rock better be the best fucking rock in all the deserts of Arizona.”

Lance just smiled, and Keith couldn't help but think that his freckles dotted his face like a constellation lost in the cosmos.

\---

They escaped under the gate that the Garrison had, Lance apparently knowing all the good ways to sneak out to have a smoke.

“Why'd you start smoking anyway?”

“You better not go all Hunk on me and attempt to make me stop. I know my actions have consequences and all that bullshit,” he said as they made their way deeper into the desert, heading towards nowhere and everywhere all at once.

“I was just curious.” Keith was not about to mention that the way Lance looked surrounded by smoke and a glowing cigarette in hand lit up his abdomen with desire.

“Oh, I dunno really. Just something to do with the time I guess.”

Keith just hummed in reply, brushing hands with the tanned boy as they walked deeper into the wild. After a while, Lance shot a quick glance towards Keith and then clasped their hands fully together.

Keith said nothing, he just bowed his head as heat crept up his cheeks like a fucking 7th grader and squeezed Lance's hand back as a response.

“Hey Lance,” Keith began after they had been walking for an indefinable amount of time, “look at that rock over there.”

Lance turned to him smiling once again, “Could it maybe be the ‘best fucking rock in all the deserts of Arizona’?”

“It could very possibly be that, but we'll never know if we don't check it out.”

“Well, then we most definitely have to.”

Because Lance had the maturity of a child and insisted that he was faster than Keith, the two raced towards the large rock that sat at the very edge of a huge canyon. They both scrambled up on top of it and sat shoulder to shoulder, out of breath.

Neither of them knew who had won, but neither of them particularly cared. Instead, they just regulated their breathing and stared at the stars like they had done before on the roof of the Garrison.

But this was different. Here they were completely alone, no lights to pollute the sky, just the soft glow of the moon to make Lances freckles even more distracting than usual. Here they didn't have to worry about security catching them, here they could relax and breathe easy.

Keith admired the way the Cuban boy looked so at ease. He studied his beautiful profile, the way his eyes fluttered closed, and the tendons in his neck pulled taught as he leaned his head back to bask in the starlight.

Lance slowly turned to Keith, eyes never opening completely, instead, staying half-lidded. He looked like so much more than a boy in a cargo jacket then, he looked like he belonged to the cosmos, an ethereal creature that had captured Keith's heart, and didn't plan on returning it anytime soon.

Finally, Lance spoke, “Can I kiss you?”

Lance was never afraid to ask questions.

Keith only had breath for a simple ‘yes’ before his lips were captured by Lances.

The kiss was something Keith will remember forever, slow and languid, a little sloppy because once Keith realized what was happening his mouth broke out into a wide grin that made their teeth clash and saliva catch on the corners of their mouths.

It wasn't a long kiss, just long enough for Keith to inhale the soft scent of smoke on Lance's tongue and open his eyes to come face to face with the freckles he was so obsessive over.

They pulled away slowly, Lance's eyes blinking open and meeting Keith's with a gentle intensity that Keith never wanted to look away from.

Catching his breath Keith opened his mouth to say, “You were never afraid to ask questions.”

Leaning in close Lance responded quietly, “I only ask the important ones.”

Lance closed the short distance between their lips and they were together again, learning how to emit soft gasps and breathless moans from the other through the simple touch of tongues and lips.

~~~

“I have to leave.”

“No Keith, you want to leave.”

They were on the roof of the Garrison, a meeting like many before, with a soft blanket strewn out on the concrete, the two boys lying shoulder to shoulder, hands rubbing circles into the palms of the others.

Keith almost said it then. He almost let the words slip from his mouth as if they wouldn't destroy everything. 

The three little words he would never allow himself to say after his dad died because soldiers didn't fall in love. 

Soldiers didn't let anything get to them, even tall Cuban boys with endless pools of blue eyes and so many freckles that no matter how hard and long he tried, he could never count them all. 

~~~

The first time Keith realized that Lance might be in love with him too, he was outside of the Cuban boy's dorm window.

Looking back on it now, Lance had probably loved Keith for a long time before this sudden realization, but the moment was surprising and raw to him nonetheless.

\---

“We should sneak out again.”

“We really shouldn't.”

“Yeah, but you want to.”

Keith stayed silent and buried his head back into his book, not wanting to verbally agree with Lance and inflate his already large enough ego.

“Oh man you definitely want to, let's do it tonight, it's Friday and we don't have to be up early tomorrow for classes or drills.”

Keith remained silent and kept his head diligently within the pages of his reading material, but a tiny smile escaped his lips at Lance's enthusiasm, and he knew that one quick glance at the gangly boy's toothless smirk had already decided for him.

Sue him, he really wanted to kiss that smirk off his face tonight.

“Welllll… I'd liked to know how interesting a book must be for you to be looking at it in place of this handsome face, but I guess there are some mysteries that will never be solved,” with this, Lance got up and pushed his chair back under the table to lean his elbows atop the ridge of it, then slowly, as if he had all the time in the world, he brought his lips dangerously close to Keith's ear, “if you change your mind and think that staying in and reading all night isn't as appealing me, then, well, you'll know where I'll be,” then he sauntered off as if he knew exactly what he was doing to Keiths insides.

After a few paces, Lance threw a smoldering wink over his shoulder, and then turned out of the library with a smug smile, as if he was completely innocent.

Keith was glad the library was empty and no one had been there to see him take a few floundering long breaths after that interaction.

\---

Keith felt like a weak, weak man, but one could only last so long before giving in to the demands given by the one and only Lance McClain. It was 1:30 am, two and a half hours after curfew, but he was surprised he made it that long, to be honest. He didn't sleep a wink, too busy thinking about his own pale hands tangled into contrasting milky chocolate brown strands of hair, tanned skin, endless pools of shining blue eyes, and star-like freckles.

Eventually, he threw the sheets off his body and prepared for a night under the open skies.

\---

He efficiently snuck his way to Lance's dorm after he crawled out of his own window under the cover of darkness. With three quick taps to the boy's window he had come familiar with, he couldn't help but feel nervous. What if Lance didn't want to see him? What if he already left when Keith didn't show up earlier? His troubles were put to rest when a brown mop of hair could be seen through the murky blackness of night.

“I was starting to think that you really were a nerd and decided to stay in bed reading all night.”

“Shut up,” Keith said with a scoff, “I've read the book before anyways.”

“Oh my god Keith, you are such a nerd, how are you so pretty and smart it's completely unfair.”

Keith felt his face flush at this, thanking whatever deities above that it was a dark enough night that Lance couldn't see. Then, without thinking he replied, “Says the sexy Cuban that got a full ride to the Garrison because he had a 4.4 GPA and a 100.8 percent in his AP astrophysics class.”

“Yeah but you read for fun, that's like full-on nerdness Kei---- wait, you think I'm sexy?” he exclaimed.

“Shhhh, someones gonna hear you,” shushed Keith, “just get out here, we won't have time to actually sneak out if we stand here like Romeo and Juliet at your window all night.”

Lance's eyes squinted at him, “Nice evasion tactics you dork, just let me grab my shoes real quick.”

A few moments later, after a bout of silent cursing at the corner he stubbed his toe on in the dark, and the telltale shuffling of Lance grabbing his signature cargo jacket, his head popped out of his window, “A kiss for good luck?” he asked unabashedly.

“You can climb out of your window without the fates on your side.”

Lance gave Keith the same smirk he had on his face earlier in the library, toothless and lopsided, freckles moving around his skin like they were each painted on with diligence and care, “See you say that, but what if I fell out of my 3-foot high window and died a tragic death, you wouldn't want to risk that, would you?”

Keith reached his hands up and placed them onto the windowsill, he had to tilt his head up a bit to make eye contact with the other boy, “No, I guess I wouldn't want to risk that.”

Their lips met softly and languidly, it was a kiss for good luck, after all.

When they pulled apart, Keith looked into those shimmering blue eyes that were seemingly lit up even in the darkness. He let his eyes wander to the bridge of Lance's tanned nose, splattered with freckles that appeared after years of living on the beach and being sun-kissed summer after summer.

He wanted to count the freckles in an attempt to measure how many days Lance went out into the water and surfed the waves, or how many times he rode his bike around the blistering hot Cuban roads. He wanted to learn everything about Lances freckles and how they came to be.

It was then he realized that just his freckles would never be enough, he wanted to learn every single thing about Lance, he wanted to learn and experience new things alongside him every step of the way, he wanted to be there when new freckles appeared on his face from flying spaceships near stars and supernovas.

He loved Lance, not just his freckles, but every story behind those pigmented dots, he loved the entirety of the boy that was Lance McClain.

Lance smiled, unknowing to Keith's recent epiphany, “Maybe another one, so I'm super lucky.”

Keith complied, leaning into Lance's mouth once again.

~~~

Keith left. He told Lance that he had to leave like if he didn't he would die, but Lance was right, Keith just wanted to leave.

Keith also wanted to stay, he wanted to stay with Lance and keep being whatever he was to him. 

But fear got the best of him, fear won, he was so scared, so helpless, so he left. He left and left the boy he loves broken. And people are not supposed to break the things they love.

\---

Keith was miserable in the desert. It used to be a place where he and Lance would go to escape, but now that's all he could think about, Lance. Keith was miserable because he was completely alone and he had brought it upon himself.

But he deserved to be miserable, because he broke Lance, and people are not supposed to break the things they love.

\---

Most days Keith forgot to eat, just wandered in and out of his shitty shack like a broken record player. Shuffle in, shuffle out, throw a rock into the endless searing heat with a yell, shuffle back indoors, repeat.

At first, he didn't know why he was in the desert, it wasn't going to get him any closer to Shiro, and it sure as hell was never going to help him fix things with Lance. But after time he felt the inexplicable draw towards the cave that he found the lion markings in.

After entering the cave and running his hand across the carvings along the wall, he swore to himself that he would find Shiro alive.

He also wanted to swear to himself that he would make things better with Lance, but people always told him when he was younger, ‘Don't make promises you can't keep.”

The fact was, Keith left the Garrison and Lance behind when Shiro went missing because he was scared. For a tough boy that grew up in foster homes and knew how to pull punches that knocked out grown men, he sure did get scared pretty often. His initial excuse was that he was mad, that his anger fueled him to lash out towards Iverson, and that he saw red when Lance begged him to stay.

None of that was true, of course, he wasn't angered, wasn't filled with mirth, he was just scared.

Terrified.

Terrified in the way that he fell for Lance so quickly, how he fit so easily into his life, like all the moving around when he was younger was so he could know what home felt like when he finally got there.

Terrified in the way that with Shiro gone, he had no one to laugh about the burnt spaghetti incident that occurred one fateful night in Shiro's apartment kitchen. He had no one to talk to about his love for the cosmos, ranting on and on about how some stars can live for 10 billion years and turning to find the older man next to him asleep on the couch, slightly drooling onto the throw pillow haphazardly shoved under his head. No one to confess about how he liked boys, no one to accept him like Shiro had, unlike the boys at his foster homes that called him names and locked him in dark rooms.

He was scared, and that's why he left. Fled the scene so that when the ones he hurt and left behind looked down, they only saw their own tears pooling, not Keith's, because Keith never cries in front of anyone, it was his one rule in life. Never let them see you hurting.

~~~

The day he saw the mystery ship land he knew Shiro had come back and was alive. He fled from his shack and hopped on his hovercraft to make his way towards the man that saved him from himself.

~~~

“I’d recognize that Mullet anywhere!”

Lance. Keith knew that voice by heart. He wanted to make amends, Shiro was alive, Lance was here, and Keith was going to attempt to fix the things he broke.

People are not supposed to break the things they love, but sometimes accidents happen, and you have to do your best to put things back together. They usually will never look the same, pieces of shattered glass can go missing, but sometimes seeing broken things put back together make them even more special. If you break something you truly love, you will find a way to put it back together.

~~~

Up in the cosmos where both of the boys had always wanted to go, surrounded by mystical worlds, new and old friends, an ancient princess, galaxies at war, and outlandish creatures, Keith and Lance found a way to piece themselves back together.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. 
> 
> i dont know why but i wanted to write a keith thats so in love with lance but just doesnt let himself be happy.
> 
> i truly dont know why i do this to them, or myself tbh.
> 
> oh well. 
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed! 
> 
> as always, drop a comment or kudo if u feel the urge ;) 
> 
> xoxo, napenthusiast


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